You may not be able to relate. You may not be sure what to do or say. Don’t worry: Beaqen’s incredible team of trans youth is here to help.
Here’s their simple list of what they wish every adult understood about gender identity.
Dear adults: Figuring out gender identity can be a process.
For some people, gender identity is straightforward. But for many of us, it’s a long and complicated journey.
Maybe you can relate: After all, everyone goes on a journey of self-discovery throughout their lives. You can be 60 years old and still finding things out about yourself!
For many of us, that includes our gender identity.
Please give us permission — and power — to explore our identity.
We need you to be OK with us exploring our gender identity. In fact, we need you to help make it possible.
When we’re little, let us dress however we want. Give us dolls and trucks and art supplies and baseballs, and let us pick what we want to play with. As we get older, keep giving us options, and encouraging us to make our own choices.
Empower us to figure out what we like about ourselves, and to express it!
Believe us when we tell you one thing today, and something else tomorrow.
Not everyone is going to come out as trans and then stick to that one label for the rest of their lives. For some of us, it takes time to figure out which gender identity feels most true to who we are.
We may use one label for awhile, then realize another label fits us better — or, at the very least, that it’s closer than the one we used before.
Believe us when we tell you one thing one day. Believe us when we tell you something else the next day. Keep believing us, no matter what.
Yes, gender identity can be fluid.
What makes you you?
So many things go into this question, from your beliefs about the world to which music you’re into. Many are fixed — but many are fluid. Some of your strongest feelings about what makes you you can deepen, shift or completely change at different points in your life, or just depending on the day.
For some of us, this includes how we experience gender. On a daily, weekly or monthly basis we may feel differently on the inside. We may express ourselves differently on the outside.
We’re still the same person you know and love. We’re just embracing different aspects of who we are.
We need you to go on this journey with us.
Reassure us: We don’t have to sort everything out at once. We can “play” with different labels before rushing to a conclusion.
Remind us: If someone doesn’t accept us for who we are, they’re not worth being around. We shouldn’t try to change ourselves for other people, or push away certain parts of ourselves.
Cheer us on: Change may feel scary, but it’s never a bad thing. It’s just part of life.
Ultimately, this is our journey. Only we can decide the path forward. But as the adults in our lives, you can walk beside us, and help us carry the load.
